Learning
Author: Kyle Meyer, Long Beach, CA
(Some Explicit Content)
Remember when we used to talk about the amorphous entity that is “dumb people”? We used to talk all about how some laws are only intended to help dumb people not accidentally kill themselves. Of course, we have the occasional meeting with an innocuous airhead who thinks that long inner labia minora means you’re a slut who has been penetrated by many dozens of men that was merely met with a concerned look and a swift stride (and lots of pity). Nowadays it seems that these dumb people are coming out of the woodwork and identifying themselves. They’re no longer that unidentifiable segment within the larger population. They’re right there in front of you in line at the grocery store and plastered all over the news in the evening.
I have realized recently that my health and the health of everyone else in this society is largely dependent on these dumb people either doing the right or wrong thing (anti-vaxxers for example). These dumb people are effectively helping the spread of this virus and the death that comes with it. I’m looking at you, people who attended a packed church on Easter. Although the amazing irony of pastors and other religious authorities claiming the virus is god’s punishment for homosexuality or any other repugnant reason and then contracting the virus is almost too good to handle.
In this time of the loss of control over our health outside our houses and apartments there are a few ways to get some control back. Now that we have been quarantined for a while and have lived days doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and masturbating, this is a perfect time to work on your health physically and mentally.
Since all non-essential workers are staying home, this is the perfect time to practice some healthy nudism. One of the biggest things I miss from before quarantine is feeling the breeze through my ass hair. Get accustomed to your body. Every roll and every mole. This is the perfect time to feel yourself up. Check yourself over for cancerous moles and breast and testicular lumps. You can never be too careful and when the quarantine is over, go get your prostate checked, guys. The earlier you catch the cancer, the better your prognosis. You can’t put this off by telling yourself you’re too busy anymore.
Treat yourself and get relaxed in a nice bubble bath. Do some sort of yoga or meditation when you wake up and/or before bed time. This will help reducing your stress levels and help you stay healthier in the long run.
Now that you have relaxed, it’s time for some mental health and introspection. We really are in a time of life and death whether we like it or not. Remember that we are all experiencing the same thing and that we all have the same chances. There is no difference between you and your neighbor. Lay all your prejudices down and see everyone as humans. Everyone deserves the same rights and treatment, even that crackhead on the corner that annoys you every time you walk your dog. If you’re reading this, remember that the vast majority of people in the world, and even in the United States, have it worse than you. Don’t let what you can see blind you to the rest of humanity. Hopefully when you come out of your bomb shelter, you’ll be a new person fully stocked with compassion and empathy.
While we’re at it, the United States is already changing its norms. Before all this, the only people who wore masks in public were medical workers helping the homeless and trendy Asian guys. Now wearing masks everywhere is highly advised by the CDC and mandated in much of California already. Why don’t we change more norms? Guys, get yourselves some kilts and wear them proudly! Who gives a shit what you wear as long as it’s comfy? Let’s demolish these dumb gender stereotypes and be the people we wish we were. Have fun in your own skin and be the bad bitch you are! Don’t let the stares and looks of other people dictate how you conduct yourself and your life.
Remember to stay sane during all this monotony. Drawing and the like are therapeutic and help work your brain so it doesn’t turn into a pile of mush. Plus, then you’ll have plenty of art to cover your bare fridge.
If you’re like me, you find yourself daydreaming about what you’re going to do when you get out of purgatory. Plan something awesome for your future. A camping trip. A new tattoo or piercing. Maybe even just a walk in the park. Anything! Keep your mind moving.
Although protesting in person is not a good idea at the moment, remember to keep the most important issues at the forefront, and never stop pushing. If you haven’t found a cause you’re passionate about, watch some documentaries. Get angry. Not too angry, but a healthy angry and hold the people in power accountable even when they say “[they] don’t take responsibility at all”. There is enough shit in this world for everyone to be passionate about cleaning up every corner. If enough people take on a social project, then real progress could happen, and we wouldn’t have to keep complaining about the world going to shit. Or getting deeper into the shit since it’s already there.
What I’m saying is very simple. Be good to your neighbors and every other human even if they smell bad, go fuck yourself and look for cancer, wearing fewer clothes means less laundry, relax with a bubble bath or a nice book or a nice book in a bubble bath, eat better, be yourself and let that freak flag fly high, draw something, plan the future, and find your personal path to cleaning up this world. Even though on the surface it seems boring and barren, there are plenty of things to do in quarantine. Go better yourself.