Love
Author: Karl Edwards, Los Angeles, CA
I fulfilled a lifelong aspiration a couple of years ago when, at my daughter’s encouragement, I joined a gym. The move into structured, regular self-care of my body was invigorating and surprisingly enjoyable. It didn’t take a whole lot of convincing to subsequently retain a trainer. I was matched with a young man half my age, who immediately—and without “gym-bod” judgment—understood who I was, where I was coming from, and what my goals were here in the second half of life.
What then commenced has been a non-stop adventure of learning—about my body, about my motivations, about my self-image, and about what I am capable of doing if I take it one step at a time.
What surprised me was how valuable the interactive relationship was to my ability and willingness to learn and try new things, as well as confront and persevere with some unpleasant things. The teaching, the encouragement, the accountability, the openness to my questions, however basic, all contributed to a camaraderie that made being a student again something I looked forward to every Monday and Thursday evening.
When the gym closed as part of the COVID-19 social isolation requirements, I lost a valued, energizing mentor. I also lost the facility where I found structure, equipment and services to frame my nascent journey to physical self-care.
But more significantly, when it became apparent to me that many people—like my trainer—were now partially or completely unemployed to the extent that they couldn’t provide fee-based services, I had to think hard about what, if any, place I had in that awkward circumstance.
On the one hand, I was not using the gym and expected my membership to be extended. (Which it was.) On the other hand, even though I was not paying for the cancelled training, one particular trainer had no means for recovering that lost income.
That’s when I realized the relationship we had developed was more multi-faceted than the simplistic contract of dollars per hour of training. Our lives had become connected by a shared task, teaching, encouragement, accountability, and support. But when the structure itself got shaken by a COVID-19 social/economic shutdown, does that mean the connection and camaraderie simply go on hold?
No. I have been sending my trainer funds to cover what he cannot earn because of the shutdown even though no services are involved. Does he need the cash? I don’t really know. I tell him to pass on whatever he doesn’t need. The point is that we are connected with a camaraderie that transcends the fee-for-services contract that has been suspended.
The point is that when the world gets shaken up, we can always find ways to shake back.
The original contract may demand one thing, but when there’s no contract telling you what to do, what will you choose to do?